Sunday, June 20, 2010

Matching Pearls

My partner and I got invited to a wedding a couple of weeks ago. Of course it is always nice to be invited to a party. But honestly I have never really enjoyed being a guest at a wedding.

For one thing I am a guy - a gay guy but somethings are the same no matter what team you bat for. Weddings are, and this is a fact, for the bride not the groom. It is the little girl who dreams of what her wedding will be like, not the little boy. OK - maybe some gay boys but not me.

That being said I had a wedding when I was twenty years old. It was suppose to be a church wedding but my folks didn't approve so we eloped and got married in a friends living room with a total of three people in attendance. For more than three decades I celebrated that wedding. Yet every time I would attend a wedding a part of me was struggling. As those vows were taken I was of course examining my own vows. It wasn't always pretty.

So to this day I am a sceptic at a wedding. Statistically 50% of all weddings end in divorce. As LBGs (Late Breaking Gays) my partner and I have both been divorced. Certainly we could ask :Why would anyone want to get married?" Of course the answer is Love!

When my partner and I got married (the one wedding I felt completely right at) we did it so that our friends and family knew how much we loved each other. Other than that nothing explains getting married.

When my partner told me about the invitation to the wedding I was a little conflicted. The happy couple was the daughter and fiance of his assistant at work. I had never met any of them and my partner is not out at work and I didn't want to get him outed at work.

Despite that I love to be with him and so, being as we are gay, three weeks before the happy event we stood in the closet to pick out our outfits. We choose light color suits for a summer wedding and on we went to what color shirts and ties we would wear.

There in the closet it suddenly it occurred to me that we might be the token gays at the wedding. If that was the case how modern and inclusive of them.

We should have worn matching pearls.

But that isn't our thing.

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