Gay as Hell

I continue to be amazed how ordinary it is to be gay.  My husband and I clean house and buy groceries. We go out to dinner and to a show and no one says or does anything.  We are just plain vanilla.  Just a couple of guys.  We don't look any different or act any different. 

But - Oh My - when we get home and close the door to our bedroom - that is gay as hell.

Talking to the Grandkids

It was the summer family reunion.  The kids had been chasing lighting bugs and my grandsons had come up to the porch to show off their jars of glowing bugs.  The two littlest ones (both four years old) fell onto my lap and the oldest (12 years old) sat across from me.  I chatted and laughed and they wiggled and giggled. 

One of them started to play with my chocker.  It is a bone and wood fish hook on a string that we got in Hawaii when we got married there in April.  They asked what it was and I told them that Mark and I had each gotten one when we were there and got married because we were "hooked on each other."  The little ones didn't think too much about it but I could see my 12 year old grandson's eyes get really big.

So after the little ones wondered away to release their lighting bugs I talked to my 12 year old grandson.  I asked him if he knew that Mark and I were married.  He said no, he thought that we were just friends.  We talked more and I answered his questions but he really didn't have that many.

Mark and I live in Dallas and my grandsons live in Chicago so we don't see each other enough.  But it didn't seem to be that big of a deal to my grandson.  I guess it is a matter of changes in attitudes from one generation to the other but I am grateful that my children and my grandchildren are good with me being a LBG (Late Breaking Gay). 

It always seems like it will be so hard to tell someone, especially people that you love that you are gay.  But in truth, it is the easiest thing in the world.  People who love you, love you no matter what and being honest with them just makes that love grow stronger.

Wedding in Hawaii

I don’t know if it was the Trade Winds gently stirring the palm leaves or the Mai Tais or the wonderful man at my side, but it was certainly was one of the most perfect and romantic days of my life.

My partner (now I guess I can officially say husband) got to spend 5 days in Honolulu.  We did lots of touristy things like a trip to Pearl Harbor and a catamaran trip to snorkel with sea turtles and watch mother and baby whales playing in the ocean.  But the huge highlight of the trip was our wedding.  Technically a Civil Union under Hawaiian law but still significant to us. 

The day of the wedding we spent the morning on the cliffs below Diamond Head.  You can get naked up on the ledges if you are just a little discreet.  We met a couple of guys that turned out to be airline attendants.  It was really nice to lay out naked with a group of guys with the Pacific in the background and the son touching all over.

Then we went back to the hotel for lunch and to clean up and get dressed for the wedding.  The dressing took a little longer than anticipated – there were pictures taken in the shower.  But we made it to Magic Island on time.  I was in all white and he wore a black shirt and tan pants.  We looked fabulous!  It was just the two of us and the minister but with the harbor full of sail boats and Diamond Head in the back ground it was perfectly romantic.

The vows were simple but so moving.  I had never been happier or more in love in my life.  After the ceremony we just sat on a park bench and smiled and laughed and enjoyed each other and the beautiful world around us. 

We went back to the Hotel and had wonderful sex (we had to consummate the marriage!)   We cleaned up again and changed outfits and went to a huge luau.  The word had gotten around that we had gotten married that afternoon and we were congratulated over and over again by many in our group.

The evening ended with Mai Tais with friends and a walk along the beach.  Oh and of course more sex before we called it a night (or morning.)

When I came out , I never saw such things in my future when I came out.  I thought that a LBG (late-breaking-gay) I was going to be lucky to have a little fun.  I never imagined that I would fall in love and get married to a man that I know is my soul-mate.

If you haven’t come out yet – if you don’t ever come out – or if you have come out but haven’t found that soul mate – don’t give up – just be the best person you can be and you will make it.  It does get better when you come out and let you be you. 

Matching Pearls

My partner and I got invited to a wedding a couple of weeks ago. Of course it is always nice to be invited to a party. But honestly I have never really enjoyed being a guest at a wedding.

For one thing I am a guy - a gay guy but somethings are the same no matter what team you bat for. Weddings are, and this is a fact, for the bride not the groom. It is the little girl who dreams of what her wedding will be like, not the little boy. OK - maybe some gay boys but not me.

That being said I had a wedding when I was twenty years old. It was suppose to be a church wedding but my folks didn't approve so we eloped and got married in a friends living room with a total of three people in attendance. For more than three decades I celebrated that wedding. Yet every time I would attend a wedding a part of me was struggling. As those vows were taken I was of course examining my own vows. It wasn't always pretty.

So to this day I am a sceptic at a wedding. Statistically 50% of all weddings end in divorce. As LBGs (Late Breaking Gays) my partner and I have both been divorced. Certainly we could ask :Why would anyone want to get married?" Of course the answer is Love!

When my partner and I got married (the one wedding I felt completely right at) we did it so that our friends and family knew how much we loved each other. Other than that nothing explains getting married.

When my partner told me about the invitation to the wedding I was a little conflicted. The happy couple was the daughter and fiance of his assistant at work. I had never met any of them and my partner is not out at work and I didn't want to get him outed at work.

Despite that I love to be with him and so, being as we are gay, three weeks before the happy event we stood in the closet to pick out our outfits. We choose light color suits for a summer wedding and on we went to what color shirts and ties we would wear.

There in the closet it suddenly it occurred to me that we might be the token gays at the wedding. If that was the case how modern and inclusive of them.

We should have worn matching pearls.

But that isn't our thing.