Friday, November 19, 2010

One Month Anniversary

Hi, this is actually Lenny. Morris's partner...

It was one month ago today that his knee was replaced. And we had sex like teenagers. (Only they stop after they have one orgasm.) (And WE didn't!) Yay! Life is getting back to normal.

I am amazed sometimes at how wonderful my man is. We love each other very much.

I think maybe we glimpsed at how long we have been in love a couple of years ago, when we each had the same dream... (About three times each, and over the course of a couple of weeks.

We were boys about 10 and 12. I was the younger. We were play-fighting with wooden swords. We were on a cliff overlooking a blue sea. And the gravel under my left foot suddenly gave way. I was dangling off the edge of the bluff by my brother's hand. And if I had fallen, I would have been killed by falling on the rocks below.

We talked about that dream. Every detail matched. .. ...

We had already decided to have a Commitment Ceremony in front of family and friends (even though we live in Texas and the ceremony doesn't mean anything here). But I guess that was the signal and cement that I needed then and still recall as a sign that we are more than just a couple of old queens. We got lucky. We found LOVE. .. ...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Many Kinds of Courage

The courage that it takes to come out of the closet comes in many forms. Even when, as in my case and in the case of many I know, we get yanked out of the closet by our indescrection or stupidity, it takes courage to keep breathing, to take each step as it comes.

With that in mind I would like to share part of an artical from the Dallas Voice about the Annual Black Tie Dinner here in Dallas. The artical, in part, tells about Chely Wright's speach regarding coming out of the closet just this year.

For those of you who don't follow county music, fourty year old Chely Wright is an award winning American country music artist and, starting in 2010, gay rights activist.

Wright became the first major country music performer to publicly come out as gay. In television appearances and an autobiography, she cited among her reasons for publicizing her gayness a concern with bullying and hate crimes toward gays, particularly gay teenagers, and the damage to her life caused by "lying and hiding".

On May 4, 2010, Wright released both her memoir of being a closeted lesbian, Like Me, and her first album of new songs since 2005.

At the Black Tie fund raising dinner she related her life story to the crowd of over 3,000. She spoke of knowing from a young age that she was gay, and how she had struggled to keep her orientation a secret to try and earn — and later, preserve — her career in country music.

I have editied it down to just her remarks about coming out as a LBG (Late Breaking Gay.)“Living two lives is quite a chore,” Wright said, as she talked about reaching a point where “I knew something had to give,” and the cold morning in 2006 when she went so far as putting the muzzle of a 9-mm pistol in her mouth.

But instead of pulling the trigger, Wright said, she prayed to God, as she had all her life. But this time, instead of praying for God to change her, she prayed that God would “give me a moment’s peace.”

Immediately, Wright continued, “oceans and oceans of peace washed over me,” and she knew that not only would she not take her own life, but that she would come out “as a gay woman, as a proud Christian and as an advocate for youth.”

Wright, who came put publicly only six months ago, acknowledged that others in the room had spent much longer fighting for LGBT equality.

“It is a bit of a strange thing to be honored by Black Tie Diner and this esteemed group of people. I look out and see so many of you who have not been able to or who have chosen not to hide a day in your lives, and to have you applaud for me is, well, it’s surreal,” she said.

“I look to you as heroes. … You are simply amazing to me. Thank you for leading the way,” she continued. “It is certainly not lost on me that you folks in this room tonight are the reason that the movement of equality, fairness and understanding continues to evolve.”

As a Late Breaking Gay (LBG) coming out after 50, I too will always be in awe of those who have always been out.

What amazing courage.

Thanking for leading the way.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Bishop Jim Swilley

I heard an interview on NPR this afternoon with Bishop Jim Swilley. He is a pastor of a mega church in Atlanta Georgia and came out last month at 50 some years old.

I am not trying to push you into church but if you have ever worried about being gay and your faith this is worth a listen.

Paste this link into your browser to listen to his message to his congregration:

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Finding Your Inner Gay

There are an amazing number of ways to be gay. There is top, bottom and versatile, bisexuals, transsexuals, catchers and pitchers, fems and straight acting. Then there are bears and twinks, boys and daddies (not to mention silverdaddies.) The variations go on and on and on. Think the Mormon Tabernacle Choir times 1,000 all dressed as Village People but each one in a different costume. Yep, its a rainbow of possibilities.

There are websites and bars and chat groups that cater to nearly any variation that you can imaging. And nearly every variation on gay is a possibility for a Late Breaking Gay (LBG) coming out after 50. I don't think it takes a label to know who you are, but don't ever be afraid of who you are. And don't be afraid of growing and discovering and changing when you find aspects of that big gay universe that you enjoy.

Find your inner gay and enjoy it. You deserve it.

Friday, November 12, 2010


We have a dog. (We will keep her name anonymous.) She is a real joy and is loved dearly. She does many things that I think are brilliant but lately I have thought more about something she and almost all dogs do. She settles. You have seen a dog do this nearly every time they lay down. They circle around, looking down at the ground until they curl up and lay down.

OK, I know, so my dog isn't doing anything spectacular when she does that. But what I think is important is that I think we (as LBGs - late breaking gays) should do a little more of that.

Think about what a dog is doing when they settle down like that. They are checking out the place where they are about to lay down and if there is grass or a blanket to lay on they are making their nest. They are making sure it is safe and as comfortable as possible. As men coming out late in life we need to do the same thing. Look around and make sure that where your new life is settling is safe and comfortable.

Because we are men (not dogs) it is more complex than that, but at the core it is the same. It is not settling for something less, it is about finding that perfect spot in life. Be safe, be careful, be happy.

After all you have gone through, you owe it to yourself.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

3 Weeks and Backgammon

I don't want to turn this into a report on my health so I won't. However for those of you who don't know today is the 3rd week anniversary of my new knee and I am doing fine. I am looking forward to going back to work in a couple of weeks and life being better than it has been in years.

But I do want to say this about living and loving as a LBG (Late Breaking Gay)when things are, well shall we say, less than ideal. One of the things that almost kept me in the closet was the fear that as I got older that there would be more and more problems that would be hard for a potential partner to live with.

That is pretty realistic. When physical illness, financial troubles, emotional strain, travel demands or other issues get in the way of those perfect times together, you have to adjust. You find ways to adapt to what you can do together. Last night we played Backgammon.

Now I am not particularly good at Backgammon and most days I can find something else that I would rather do. But if a game of Backgammon is what gives us time together than that is what I want to do. I would rather have sex or go to the art galleries or go out for drink and a dinner. But when none of those is an option than I am grateful for a man who loves me enough to want to play Backgammon. I would rather play Backgammon with the man that I love than nearly anything else in the world.