The Other Side

One of my favorite artists is David Gray.  Actually my husband introduced me to his music and it really touches me.

One of David Gray's songs that I love so much is "The Other Side".  There is a certain mysticism about it (as there is with many of his songs) - I feel like there is this promise of meeting your loved one again after this life.  I believe in that very much.  In fact I am very certain this is not the first life I have shared with my husband.

I do have one problem with his lyrics - I do know what love is - I have it - now.

I would like to have this sung for my husband at my funeral.

Meet me on the other side, meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side, see you on the other side

Honey now if I'm honest, I still don't know what love is
Another mirage folds into the haze of time recalled
And now the floodgates cannot hold
All my sorrow all my rage
A tear that falls on every page

Meet me on the other side, meet me on the other side
Maybe I oughta mention, was never my intention
To harm you or your kin, are you so scared to look within
The ghosts are crawling on our skin
We may race and we may run
We'll not undo what has been done
Or change the moment when it's gone
Meet me on the other side, meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side, see you on the other side
I know it would be outrageous
To come on all courageous
And offer you my hand
To pull you up on to dry land
When all I got is sinking sand
That trick ain't worth the time it buys
I'm sick of hearing my own lies
And love's a raven when it flies

Meet me on the other side, meet me on the other side
I'll see you on the other side, see you on the other side
Honey now if I'm honest, I still don't know what love is

Bridge Over Troubled Water

As a "Late Breaking Gay", when I was considering coming out and even after I came out  I was afraid I would never find love again.  Indeed I was afraid that I would never be able to give love or be loved.

I felt too mortal: closer to the end than to the beginning of my life. I felt like I had wasted my life and there was no more life to be had and no more life to give.

But I was wrong. I have found the love of my life and have never been happier than I am with my husband.

When I was a teenager Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water was a huge hit.  It is a classic that many people respond to even today. "Bridge Over Troubled Water" is the promise of being there.  My husband has truly been my "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and it has been wonderful.

I know that I can't promise to be there forever, but my spirit will always be there for the man that I love. 

I love you my husband - more than words can tell. 

When you're weary, feelin' small
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all
I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough, and friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down

When you're down and out, when you're on the street
When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you
I'll take your part, oh when darkness comes, and pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind

Sail on silver girl, sail on by
Your time has come to shine, and all your dreams will run their way
See how they shine, oh, if you need a friend, I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind

Extraordinary Ordinary

Tonight is the night before Christmas Eve and we sat in the den and read books and listened to Christmas music.

What strikes me as so extraordinary is that my gay life is so ordinary.

When I was in the closet I thought that life would be so different if I came out and that terrified me.

But here I am living in a four bedroom house on a corner lot in Ozzie and Harriet land and it is so ordinary.  I take the trash out, wash the dishes, and bitch about all the crap in the garage just like I did when I was married to a woman.  The difference is that now I am married to a man. 

A man that I love more than I have ever thought I could love anyone.

It is extraordinary that ordinary is so wonderful!

(OK so the sex is phenomenal but the rest is extraordinarily ordinary.)

Merry Christmas to all

Almost Christmas

It is three days before Christmas. 

For the last few years past Chirstmas has been hard for me.  I have mised my kids and grandkids and have felt guilty about being so far away from them.  Plus Christmas brings back so many memories of Christmas' past. 

But tonight our house is snug and warm and the presents are wraped and the decorations are out and it feels very good. 

I think it is a matter of building new traditions.  As I write this my husband is in the kitchen starting dinner and Christmas music is playing in the background.  It is a wonderful mixture of the parts of old traditions that I loved and building new ones with the man that I love.

Life is good!

Merry Christmas everyone.