Saturday, April 17, 2010

Visitation Rights

I am for expanding gay rights.

We should not be treated as second class citizens.

I pay my taxes just like the next guy so I should have just as many rights.

And as a LBG (Late Breaking Gay) I am far more aware of the rights that I lost when I came out of the closet.

But, and call me inpatient if you want, the recent memo from President Obama giving same sex couples hospital visitation rights seems like an awfully small step.

Actually the memo is instructing hospitals to let everyone have anyone (same sex partner or whatever) they wanted visit or speak for their wishes when they can't. It wasn't primarily for gays but the gay community seems to have claimed it.

Don't get me wrong - it is a good thing - but I fear that the government may feel like they threw the gay community a bone and expect us to chew on it and be quite. I hope we stay loud and proud. We have a long way to go.

The X Got Remarried

My X wife got remarried.

That’s it. No drama, no trauma.

My X didn’t tell me. My kids didn’t tell me. My Mother told me almost in passing. She saw her picture on Facebook holding a bouquet with a new last name.

It is a non-event.

And yet – somehow I felt bad. Maybe guilty that I wasn’t who I thought I was or who I promised that I would be.

I should be glad that she has found happiness and stability after what I did to her life. And I am. Yet – it makes the pain of walking away from that life – even though it was a lie of a life – it makes the pain fresh again.

I love my new life – but as a LBG (Late Breaking Gay) I must say that more than 30 years in the closet are very hard on a person. Coming out, as they say “better late than never”, is the best thing that a person can do for themselves. But being a LBG (Late Breaking Gay) isn't for sissy's. OK - too cute. But seriously coming out late in life can most certainly leave some deep scars.

But the scars will heal in the sunshine of honesty about self and the fresh air that isn’t poisoned by lies.