While I am out at work I don't make a huge thing of it and the person who asked the question works for the same company but in a different office in my town so I haven't had all that much contact with her.
Besides that as a LBG "Late Breaking Gay" I am still not use to that kind of question. I know that straight folk are becoming fairly accepting but that doesn't mean they understand.
And of course there are all kinds of way to be gay. That is something I kind of clung to when I was struggling with coming out. I would tell myself that I wasn't "very" gay. There are some gays that are pretty feminine. But if you are struggling with coming out like I was and it scares you that you might have to take on a certain "role" when you come out - forget it.
When you come out you will be who you are right now. And if you want to be something different that is ok. I wear tighter jeans now - I unbutton more buttons on my shirt than I use to - I wear more jewelry - my underwear is sure as hell a lot hotter than when I was in the closet (and I have a lot more of it) but I am still the same person.
And as for my role in sex: I am a "creative-versatile-top." There are all kinds of labels: Top, Bottom, Versatile, Fem, Butch, Twink - I could go on - there are a thousand shades of gay.
But as I told my friend on the beach in Hawaii - "You don't get it! We are both masculine!" That is just it, being gay doesn't mean you aren't a man - it just means you like men.