Sunday, May 19, 2013

So Which One of You is the Girl?

The night that we got married in Hawaii we met a few friends at the bar at the beach.   One of them asked "So which one of you is the girl?'
While I am out at work I don't make a huge thing of it and the person who asked the question works for the same company but in a different office in my town so I haven't had all that much contact with her.

Besides that as a LBG "Late Breaking Gay" I am still not use to that kind of question.  I know that straight folk are becoming fairly accepting but that doesn't mean they understand.

And of course there are all kinds of way to be gay.  That is something I kind of clung to when I was struggling with coming out.  I would tell myself that I wasn't "very" gay.  There are some gays that are pretty feminine.  But if you are struggling with coming out like I was and it scares you that you might have to take on a certain "role" when you come out - forget it.

When you come out you will be who you are right now.  And if you want to be something different that is ok.  I wear tighter jeans now - I unbutton more buttons on my shirt than I use to - I wear more jewelry - my underwear  is sure as hell a lot hotter than when I was in the closet (and I have a lot more of it) but I am still the same person.

And as for my role in sex: I am a "creative-versatile-top."  There are all kinds of labels: Top, Bottom, Versatile, Fem, Butch, Twink - I could go on - there are a thousand shades of gay.

But as I told my friend on the beach in Hawaii - "You don't get it!  We are both masculine!"  That is just it, being gay doesn't mean you aren't a man - it just means you like men.        

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